Custom Printed M&M’s

I’ve always loved the idea of being able to buy M&M’s in nonstandard colors, such as purple. And you can do so at any of the M&Ms retail stores or online at M&M’s.com. At some point within the past couple of years, they started offering Custom Printed M&M’s—also, clearly, a brilliant idea for which I can think of any number of good uses. They can even print your business’s logo on the candies.

There’s just one problem, though—which is, unfortunately, unforgivable. You can only buy custom-printed Plain M&M’s. I am extraordinarily fond of Peanut M&M’s, and they pose a severe challenge to my self-control. In the right (i.e., wrong) frame of mind, I could probably eat an entire one-pound bag in a single sitting. (Note to self: Add this to life’s to-do list. And check on milk supply before beginning.) But the Plain ones just don’t interest me at all. I can eat a few, and I will if there’s nothing else made of chocolate available, but I just find them incredibly dull. I know the irregular size and shape of peanuts poses a challenge. But somehow, the manufacturer manages to get the letter M printed on Peanut M&Ms, so presumably they could figure out how to get a few more letters onto them too.

Of course, the same could be said of all the other varieties: Dark Chocolate, Almond, Peanut Butter, Crispy, and the weird new flavors (cherry, mint, peach, and so on). But really: they should at least offer custom-printed Peanut M&M’s.

Here’s another oddity: Although the M&M’s online store sells 22 different colors of Plain M&M’s and the new flavors (along with lots of other M&M’s merchandise), you apparently can’t buy Peanut M&M’s of any kind online—at least not direct from the manufacturer. (The M&M’s store in Las Vegas, by the way, does have the full range of colors in both Plain and Peanut varieties.)

What I’d really like, actually, is custom-printed, purple, dark-chocolate, Peanut M&Ms. Lots of them. Is that so much to ask?